A Compelling Career

How to Get Along with a Less Than Perfect Boss

Wow. I am having one of those weeks when I can't seem to slow down. I got back from a long weekend in Moab - see that's us - and have been playing catch up ever since. But I spoke with someone the other day about something that I thought was valuable enough to share.

This person was talking to me about how much she hated her boss. She feels like she doesn't let her do her job and she behaves in a way that makes it impossible for her to communicate with her. She asked me for my advice, so I gave it to her - and I am sharing it here too in case anyone else might be interested.

We have all, at some time or another, worked for people who drove us crazy and even worse, made us feel inadequate, incompetent, and under appreciated. When things get really bad we usually have two options: quit or do something about it to make it manageable. So, let's assume you are in this position and you have chosen to stick it out and do something about it. Here are 5 steps to improve your situation. I will go into more depth on each one over the next 5 days.

Step 1 – Work toward understanding your boss and the culture of the organization.

Step 2 – Schedule an appointment to speak with your boss when it is convenient for him/her.

Step 3 – Determine your long term goals within the company and how you want to contribute.

Step 4 – Ask your boss (the earlier the better) what makes someone an outstanding employee.

Step 5 – Don’t take things personally

And remember. This person may be your boss, but you are the CEO of your personal services corporation and you have a choice. Your boss is looking out for himself. Make sure you are looking out for YOU!

Why Our Titles Say Nothing About Our Work

How many times in your life have you been asked “what do you do for a living”? And how many times have you actually answered the question? I bet very few. You probably answer this question by stating your “title” but suffice it to say that telling someone your title really gives the inquirer no real idea of what you actually do.

I have been talking to people about their careers for as long as I can remember and more because I am always fascinated by people’s response and less because I am going to get the answer I am looking for, I always start out my inquisition with the same question – “what do you do for a living?” Nine times out of 10 the person answers ‘I’m a marketing assistant” or “I am in sales” or the very specific “I work in HR”. Inevitably their face also matches their tone which usually indicates to me that I would never want to be whatever it is they just told me.

So, the last time I asked someone my favorite question I got to thinking how different the world of work might actually become if people really began answering the question and instead of allowing their company or industry or really insufferable boss to define them, began to take ownership for how they see themselves.

Step 2 - 10 Steps to Authenticity at Work

Identify some specific moments during the past several weeks where you felt like you were able to express your true self at work. What were you doing? With whom were you working? How did you feel physically?

When we are over worked and over stressed, it is easy to focus most of our attention on what is not working. We forget the little victories during the day and the times when we are free to be our authentic selves are overshadowed by the times we feel completely incongruent.

 So, even if you can only recall brief moments where you were able to express your true self at work, identify them and write them down. Be specific about exactly what is it that you were doing. This is important if you decide in the future to explore a different path. There are so many ways we can express our true selves and very often people make the mistake of thinking they have to be participating in some noble effort in order to do this when actually you could be doing it when you are doing something as simple as sorting files. It is not so much the task but rather how you approach it and your attitude toward your work. We bring who we are to each task and it shows up whether we want it to or not.

So, how are you going to show up today? How can you change your situation by your attitude? How can you express your authentic self today, in all that you do?

10 Steps to Authenticity at Work - Step 1

How many people do you know go to work and become someone they do not want to be? Either they are selling a product or service they don’t believe in, reaching for a bottom line that has no meaning for them, or are simply plugging along because it is what they have always done but their work represents nothing of their authentic self.

I recently worked with a client who felt like every time she walked in her office she had to become someone else. She even had a name for this “identity” and when we talked about why it was important for her to give this other persona a name, she said it allowed her to disconnect from the things she did that she didn’t believe in or want to be identified with. She struggled with something many people face every day - a great paying job that left her empty inside.

So, what is the answer? She came to me to help her sort out her options and in many ways to get permission to “look around”. For years she felt like she had no choice, there were no options that felt viable. So, here is one of the exercises we did to open up her mind to the real options staring her in the face. You can ask yourself these questions too.

Step 1 – Identify all of the things you do at work that feel counter to your authentic self. Can you name the feeling? Can you identify what is going on for you physically when you are doing or saying things that feel counter to your authentic self?

I worked with one client who was a reporter. She had spent most of her time growing up knowing this is what she wanted to do. She had dreams of reporting on important pieces and writing stories that spoke to the human spirit. Instead she found herself constantly fixated on the next big story because that’s what was paying the bills. She would push and shove to get a word in and more times that she liked to admit she found herself prying in on people’s most private and heart wrenching moments. Her body would tense up and she would feel physically sick. She carries this around with her all day and work and it was not until she was driving home at night that she would begin to relax. When I asked her to identify how she felt or explain what was going on physically for her, her words flowed like a rushing river. She was very in tuned with what this was doing to her but she felt like she had no options. Eventually she realized that just the act of naming it gave her a sense of freedom and encouraged her to move on to Step 2 which I’ll talk about tomorrow.

 Exercise: List as many words as you can that describe how you feel when you are conflicted about your work. Name some physical responses your body has to this incongruency and what you are currently doing to minimize them. What would you be willing to do to change your situation?

What is Your Entrepreneurial Personality?

Many people dream of owning their own business. The idea of being their own boss, setting their own hours, and being responsible for all income that flows their way is incredibly appealing. Being an entrepreneur is fantastic and incredibly rewarding, if you have the personality for it. A recent study says that successful entrepreneurs share many common personality traits and that it is these traits, rather than education, family ties, experience or skills that indicate how successful they are or will become. So the question becomes “do I have the right personality for the business I want to start?” The following are 15 questions to ask yourself before you charge into the deep end: